In a place known to be volatile and disposed to protests, any public outrage on account of sexual abuse is conspicuously absent in Kashmir.

Child Psychologist Dr. Mudassir Hassan said that child sexual abuse during childhood shows it’s compounded impact in the form of psychiatric conditions such as depression, anxiety, even personality disorders, etc. when the child grows up. “Those who seek help come with psychiatric issues, not for this [sexual abuse],” he said. The underlying cause of childhood trauma is brought to the surface in the course of treatment. 

He recounts a case of a substance abuse patient who justified her dependency on drugs as “humarepaasaur bacha hi kyahai [there is nothing else left for me]” and subsequently narrated her long history of sexual abuse during childhood.

Dr. Hassan said that despite his inclination to delve deeply in this area of sexual abuse of children, the conservative society of Kashmir largely discourages and suppresses any such socially oriented pursuits. “I have not seen cases of sexual abuse as such as I have seen in Kashmir Valley,” said Dr. Hassan, who has worked in New Delhi as well. “There are hundreds of examples—it is so common you could write a book.”

After the 2012 Nirbhaya gang rape in New Delhi led to massive public outrage and subsequent tremendous changes in the criminal law system, the POCSO Act was made more stringent to incorporate the death penalty for rapists.

However, advocate Syed Mujtaba said legal deterrents alone were not enough to prevent child sexual abuse. “When we see cases of child sexual abuse in larger perspective, we see that adult population is cruel to the child population,” he said.

“The primary issue is whether we have incorporated the basics where we can teach a child in school about safety and protection. In Kashmir particularly, people take it as an offence when you talk of sex education,” he said, highlighting that the number of cases reported under POSCO Act do not reflect the actual number of instances as most families refuse to report out of fear of social stigma.

It may be concluded that law can effectively be an instrument of deterrence only if people come forward to avail of the provision. Being limited by stigma and taboo associated with sexual offence conversely only serve to encourage an environment to perpetrate such crimes and embolden potential offenders.

Dr. Mudassir Hassan suggests that there needs to be a dedicated and effective system of “school mental health programme” with a strong presence and with professional counsellors. Training school professionals with basic skills in order to function as counsellors will make them capable of dealing with a range of issues pertaining to children, he said, will make help easily accessible for children.

In Jammu and Kashmir, “child right protection service is in the stage of infancy. There is paucity of resources but now is a right time to expand the services,” said Mr. Mujtaba, adding that at family level, it is necessary that “we make it clear that there is a need to report cases, and that there is a need to incorporate sex education in school courses.”

Mr. Mujtaba believes in the need to encourage an atmosphere where a child could freely share anything. It is here the role of family assumes paramount significance and he goes on to assert the “need to give them [children] due space and representative structure. They must be encouraged to talk and discuss situations all around the events of the day.” 

It was increasingly becoming the norm across India and globally, Mr. Mujtaba said, to make young pupils in schools learn about “good touch and bad touch” to make children aware of who can touch them and what parts of the body must never be touched by anyone. He adds that people are generally more disposed to thinking that these types of offences happen in cities beyond Kashmir but not in Kashmir.

Mr. Mujtaba opines that most schools in Kashmir “do not even treat this [learning of good touch and bad touch] as a means [of awareness] and do not recognise that this is existing in our society because it is conservative and we are living in a very closed atmosphere.”

According to psychologists, the prevalent social culture in Kashmir of marriage cousins is pointed at as a factor to instigate conduct that would amount to offence or even abuse. Sociologist and senior researcher at New Delhi’s JamiaMiliaIslamia University, Dr. Adfer Shah asserts that “it is a reality in our society howsoever we deny it. It originates primarily from inter-sibling sexual encounters. The elder sibling grows and develops sexual instinct.”

He further explained that “in Kashmiri society, children generally sleep together” so close physical encounters are capable of escalating into instances of sexual violation of the younger, more vulnerable, sibling. “This is as much a reality as marital rape is. But we don’t talk about it,” he said.

Dr. Shah makes a reference to a Kashmiri proverb: “yenelarehwunos, tamehlarehshoungheh”, which literally translates as “whichever way I [the husband] tell her [the wife] to sleep, she sleeps”. The phrase primarily has a sexual connotation and means the expected behaviour of an obedient wife to follow instructions without questioning.

When women are denied their individuality and representative rights in critical matters, a shadow of this attitude falls on children who are also dependent, vulnerable and do not have a say in most matters.

Thus, family as an institution is primarily responsible to shield children from chances of violation and educate them with the basic understanding of “good touch and bad touch” and empower them to express freely and talk openly without any sense of shame. Children commonly stray into the territory of sexual encounters that might amount to violation but instead of educating them about important matter, things are brushed under the carpet.

With unaddressed sexual urges—right from childhood—and the concepts of choice and consent being conspicuously absent, sexual awareness has been eliminated altogether from the process of socialisation of a child as an individual. Matters pertaining to sex remain out of the usual discourse at home. Given the cultural consideration, “talking about sex is a taboo so it is avoided and ‘sex’ is a prohibited word,” said Dr. Shah

As a conservative Kashmiri society, most people are reluctant to accept that there is a problem at all—the stigma attached to it keeps them from coming out with the reality and help create awareness about the offence.

Comparing the disaster of not heeding the natural play of sexual instinct and equating that with a taboo to a flood, Dr Shah explained that when flood starts to surface, it is possible to mitigate its impact if adequate steps are taken in time; likewise, matters could be controlled and regulated in the stage of childhood if they are acknowledged and addressed. “In childhood, an individual can imbibe the meanings of consent, respect, and choice,” he said.

Dr. Shah maintains that “irrespective of religion, children need to be given sex education at family, community, and school levels.” When sex education is incorporated in the regular school curriculum, as in some north European countries, the decline in crime is visible.

Pointing out that “there has to be some willingness on the part of the government too to push for this to materialize”, the sociologist expressed that this lies on the backburner as this is not a matter that “will fetch them votes” in elections. “As a society, we must think of ways about how it [violation of children] should not happen in future,” he said, adding that consistent efforts to impart sex education is the first step towards awareness.

This story appeared in our 22 -28 June print edition.