Zoi: A Weapon of Mass Destruction


By Anonymous

What American military, with the best intelligence gathering assets and a ghostly CIA at its assistance, failed to locate in Iraq since 2003 has finally been found in a remote Himalayan valley. The missing and elusive Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD) have been found in Kashmir, a state divided into half between two nuclear powers and claimed in full by both.

As per the highly placed sources, the location coordinates of the WMD are the following: Baharistan-e-Urdu (any coincidence of this place with Afghanistan-Pakistan is a mere coincidence), P.51, top-left corner.

The WMD found here is believed to be of a deadly quality which has made the authorities here to recall more than 10,000 copies of Baharistan-e-Urdu from the markets and seal them out.

An additional 15,000 copies, which were lying at the godowns of Board of School Education and were awaiting executive orders for transportation to various markets across Kashmir, have also been sealed off.

The UN investigating team has gone to the extent of saying that these deadly WMDs, known as “Zoi Se Zaalim”, are so dangerous that a mere look at them without X-Ray goggles can affect the brain cells.

The chemical composition of the “Zoi Se Zaalim” has not been disclosed yet, as analysts have warned that if any hints of the chemical composition are disclosed, America’s mortal enemy Iran might use the technology to fulfill its wish to become a nuclear power.

Analysts have also warned that chemical composition of the “Zoi Se Zaalim” be kept secret and classified as North Korea, now led by a pot-bellied leader-son, might use it to start a new arms-race in the now 50-year old war between two Koreas.

The physical description of the “Zoi Se Zaalim” provide a glimpse about how dangerous the nuclear technology can be if it falls into the hands of “Islamist” groups allied with or autonomous with the Al Qaeda umbrella.

Nuclear experts says that the physical description of “Zoi Se Zaalim” makes it a dangerous weapon and a “weapon of choice” having the potential to be hand bagged onto the American coastline.

“Zoi has its genesis in Urdu technology with a complex design. It has a sort of oval body, with two poles, one horizontal pole which touches its periphery while going upwards and another vertical which acts as its small tail,” the experts say.

What makes this Zoi a cause of concern is not the two poles and an oval body, experts define, but a more sinister dot which causes the fusion and the final explosion.

“The most dangerous part of this design is a dot, rather the dot,” they said.

Experts says it is this dot, suspended in air and placed several notches above the oval body, which causes the Urdu element to change its physical composition from a more docile “Toi” to fissile  “Zoi”.

The story does not end here as the terrorists, who intended to use this “Zoi” against civilians and military targets in the US mainland, had planned to mix it with “Zaalim”.

It is not known who designed “Zaalim”, but sources say the plan to mix Zoi with Zaalim was hatched at BOSE’s “Abbotabad hideout”.

Experts say the Zaalim is the prize catch. “It has got moustaches, a round cap, a T-Shirt and more dangerously a Bamboo stick. Just imagine had these terrorists used a bamboo stick against our interests, it would have been our modern day Pearl Harbour, with thousands killed. It would have been our Holocaust,” they warn.

The recovery of the “Zoi Se Zaalim” from the militant hideout deep in the Himalayan Pir Panchal mountain range is considered the biggest success of the security set up here and is regarded a finest intelligence operation.

I wish to remain Anonymous for the fear of being booked for sedition, because, of late, no one in Kashmir understands humor, least to say, understands satire.

The above piece is a work of fiction, rather satire, as the author mentioned it here and in the mail also, and didn’t reveal his/her name.

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