Self exile:From Kashmir to Pakistan


By Zahida Parveen

East or west home is best. If I will get thousand life times in this world still I will never feel like in my birth place Kashmir anywhere else. If you will ask that how is it to be in Pakistan, being away from my homeland Kashmir? I must say that it’s same as like hell.

I often think about myself and try to know where I belong to. What I am doing and how I spend the lonely life here without any relatives. I mean to say no paternal or maternal relations. They all live in Kashmir. I sometimes feel very emotional which leave me in sadness. Even cry alone when I think of my dearest homeland Kashmir, my college, and my friends. I miss all the roads which lead to my home, the river Sindh which flows in front of our house.

In Kashmir, I was living in a typical village Ganderbal. I completed my higher secondary education from local Junior college. After that I chose Nursing as my profession and did Bachelors in it from Chandigarh in 1981. I worked for twelve years as a Nurse and my elder brother decided to marry me in Pakistan.

My brother was already living in Pakistan those days. Now since the year 1993 I am living here in Pakistan. I have very loving and caring four children. Our family is a happy family but I always miss my homeland so much. I want to visit my homeland again at least once in my life.

I feel the world in which I am currently living is more different than past one. This is of course full of troubles. A happy life or a happy atmosphere is one in which a person lives in comfort with happiness and satisfaction. Childhood is the golden period of one’s life.

Several times I tried to understand my relations with people here in Pakistan society but I failed. It’s only because my heart has always been craving for my caring, loving, sympathetic, humble and pure people back home in Valley. Here in Pak everything is dramatic and artificial. Nobody is sincere with each other here. No love, No sympathy, No respect and people are not humble at all.

However talking about the Kashmir problem which is old as the history of Pakistan. War started between the Kashmiri people and India, the most painful as well as hopeful. It has been the brave struggle of the Kashmiri people against India that started in 90s. If India doesn’t grant the right to self determination or hold plebiscite in the Kashmir the ongoing struggle will rob reputation of the United Nations Organization and other world bodies also.

Every day is a bad and sad day whenever I see the news of youth killings in Valley. What they are asking to India is only independence which is their birth right. Indian army is doing just a criminal action and trying to give a fearful life to people which I condemn.

I also use Facebook and have joined many Kashmiri groups and pages. Like ‘I PROTEST’ on Facebook seems has been started by some angry youth because of bloodshed and atrocities on people. The youth manage to raise the voices all over the world by all forms of media which worked throughout the world. Youth need a platform where they can present their strength to make declarations and send memorandums to the outside world.

While in-between all this I miss my relatives and friends especially my teachers. I feel if I once go to Kashmir I will never come back to Pakistan because I love my homeland most. Adding to the natural beauty of my Kashmir she also has the beauty of its good people there. OH KASHMIR I MISS YOU DEAR…!!!

Zahida Parveen is a Nurse from Kashmir but currently lives in Pakistan.

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