I looked up ways to end my life and enacted many of them in my head: Shehla Rashid

Shehla Rashid. Photograph by Shafaq Khan

Student leader and activist Shehla Rashid contemplated suicide and looked up the internet to find about the  ways to end her life.

Shehla took to her Twitter handle and in a series of tweets talked about a condition that she suffers from, which almost made her commit suicide, “A few days ago, I started having strong suicidal thoughts. I had been feeling that way for two weeks. But that night, I actually looked up ways to end my life & enacted many of them in my head. Next day, I got my period. I looked up “PMS + suicide” and found out about PMDD,” Shehla wrote on her twitter.

She revealed that she was suffering from Post Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), and wanted to create awareness among the masses about the condition that makes one suicidal, “PMDD is not often acknowledged as an issue, because, well, it concerns women. But if you care about your sister, partner, or friend do raise awareness about PMDD. It’s scary how real it can get. You start picking ways and spots to end your life. You start planning it,” She tweeted.

Despite considering it very personal she shared her story on the social media site, “Okay, so, I’ve decided to share a deeply personal story on Twitter, even though I know that Twitter isn’t kind at all. But I’m sharing this personal story in public interest, hoping it might reach someone who needs to hear this,” Shehla said.

Shehla said that she received an email from Quora that had information regarding what way was easy to end one’s life, “And then, of course, you have algorithms to help you die. Since I was actually contemplating suicide, I didn’t care that I was logged in. And this morning @Quora sends me an email asking if I’m still contemplating suicide, and that they’re here to help!,” She tweeted.

Shehla further said that in the age of algorithms and technology sharing information about the PMDD was even more important, “In a world where algorithms will help you end your life if you want to end your life, it’s really important to share information about PMDD – premenstrual dysphoric disorder – a severe form of PMS that can even make you suicidal. Knowing it can prevent it,” She wrote

Further asking her followers to not dismiss people with PMDD symptoms, “If there are women in your friend circle or family whom you care about, don’t dismiss PMDD as mood swing. Don’t tell her that she’s imagining it. It’s hormonal. Be supportive. Don’t say that “men also get stressed”. Women are already supportive and considerate about men’s issues,” She stated.

 

 

 

 

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